Schema

I asked my sister the other day about how to help expand a kid’s worldview as they grow. I asked because I started to realize that some some of the complex concepts we’ve addressed in simplest began needing to be expanded on with our kids, and I was curious to understand how it should all unfold. I asked my amazing sister because she’s has her degree in things having to do with child development, so I figured asking someone who knows her stuff is probably a smart place to start! 

One of the things we’ve noticed as our kids are growing is their understanding of the concept of good and bad. We teach our kids when they are little the basic concept of good things and bad things because it is what they can grasp. But as they grow, these concepts become more complex - like the idea that someone can make a bad choice but that doesn’t make them a bad person. Or if you (speaking to a child) make a bad choice, you are not condemned forever as a bad person - the concept that we’ve started on has to expand and I didn’t know how to explain it….. until my genius sister explained it to me!

So here’s the background: there’s a scientist guy (Jean Piaget - he has some out there stuff but also some interesting helpful stuff)  who formed a theory. This theory revolves around the idea that from the beginning of a persons  life, that person learns concepts or “schemas”. For instance, when a baby is born, it discovers quickly that milk comes from the breast. Then, after a bit, a bottle is introduced and their schema is expanded, aka  “milk comes from breast AND bottle”. Then, maybe juice or water is added to the bottle and all of a sudden their schema is expanded AGAIN “ milk comes from breast and bottle but now water or juice also comes from the bottle too”. And the process continues into solid foods. The child's schema expands continually throughout their life as we are always growing and learning and expanding our understanding. 

With that thought process,  I was figuring out how to talk about difficult subjects like bad actions, or bad words, and how some words are okay sometimes but not other times, and how actions can be appropriate sometimes but maybe not other times. I couldn’t figure out how to expand on our kids’ schemas in this department of good and bad. 

This is where Lora, My amazing superhero sis, came to the rescue. She began to describe how things work using a pizza analogy, and it just blew my mind. (Also perfect because our family lives for pizza) 

This is the idea: “ya know how we like to eat pizza?! And you know how we  like certain toppings on our pizza? I like pineapple, and i know you really like cheese! That makes it tasted really good right?! Do you think fish would taste very good on pizza? Or maybe crunchy pretzels on top of pizza? Those foods don’t really go together do they! It’s the same with words. Some words aren’t very good to put together just like some foods don’t go together to make pizza! But what if we grilled a yummy fish with some super yummy sauces and veggies, then that fish would be okay and not so yucky. Just like some foods like pizza and cheese go together, some words go together and “taste good” while others don’t so much! In addition to that, some families have foods in there cupboards that are okay for them to eat, and they might like pizza that you really don’t. That doesn’t mean they are bad, it just means they have different foods in their cupboard (see the analogy?!) 

My sis was helping us relate a very difficult concept of context and social awareness and a whole bunch of other things that go into words and actions by using pizza to relate and help expand our kids’ “schema”. 

The goal that I have for my kids is to learn to love God and love People. In order to do that, the basic black and white good or bad schema is only appropriate for my kids as they begin their journey, but it can’t be where their understanding ends. Bad words (for example, the word “stupid”) began as a “bad” word because, as a family who has a child with cognitive delays, calling people or anyone STUPID to demean or dehumanize is NEVER okay. However, that word is not a bad word and in different contexts is completely appropriate and a very precise describing word. I couldn't figure out how to transition my kids from thinking that there is only one way, until my sis described the idea of schema and used that pizza analogy! 

I write all this as an encouragement to you! We live in a world that needs an expanded view of people in order to make space for them. We also have to teach our kids in age appropriate ways that gradually build instead of confuse and overwhelm! This is one of many milestones in our parenting journey , and to think of it all as a parent can be overwhelming. So maybe today, if you have kids walking through this, or you are walking through it with other adults, start with the simplicity and deliciousness of pizza. I can guarantee you can’t go wrong. 

All of this content was authored verbally by my sis, Lora Beth. I simply transcribed all she explained!