“As Long as our Baby is Healthy”
I got the “are you hoping for a boy or a girl?!” question quite a bit when I was pregnant. It's a pretty standard question and a valid one at that. My answer was usually something like, “It doesn't matter to me, AS LONG AS he or she is healthy.” It seemed like a pretty standard answer to a pretty standard question ….until I had my kids.
Before that, for some reason, it seemed like the most appropriate reaction to a lot of the standard questions was to say “as long as it's healthy”. The thing that made me stop and think was the “AS LONG AS….” part. “ AS LONG AS my baby is healthy”….
What happens when the “AS LONG AS” part suddenly doesn’t happen? What happens when everything doesn’t go “as planned”? What happens when the line that was created as the barrier for what is ok and acceptable and bearable is disintegrated?
Does my world get shaken and I lose hope in all that is good and right in the world? Do I curse God and life and throw in the towel? I mean, really, What happens?!
Seems to me I have a few options. Option number one: I just hope God answers my prayers cause I wouldn’t be able to handle anything else. Option number two: loose hope in all humanity. Option three: adjust my perspective.
It hit me that phrases like, “as long as he’s healthy”, or “well, at least you have your health” goes out the window real quick when all of a sudden we don’t have it.
When life doesn’t turn in the direction of my expectations, I usually find more BEYOND the line I had drawn. The “AS LONG AS I HAVE…” was the expectation, the final line, where the buck stopped. But when the “AS LONG AS” didn’t happen, I think it's safe to say that my line didn't matter much anymore.
The thing is, That line didn’t have anything do to with love and serving the people in my life, including my baby. That line didn’t have anything to do with putting other people first. It didn’t give integrity or humility, or kindness, or joy, or selflessness, or peace, or patience, or self-control. It didn’t build or bind my relationships or give grace when grace was needed. The line was just taking up space and it needed to be erased.
Don’t get me wrong, expectations can be great! Be expectant of and anticipate the beauty and joy of life! The point is that when life doesn’t come in the “AS LONG AS I HAVE” package you thought it would, or when it doesn’t stop at the line you made for it - then be ready to adjust, to move the line, to change.